How To Steal A Tri-Met Bus

Stealing a Tri-Met Bus Is easy... See where it takes you. 

This is a Tri-Met bus.

Oh sure you’ve seen them on the streets. Maybe you have wanted to own one for your self? Ever think of what a Trimet bus would look like here

… or here? 

Now you can have a bus for your self!

How? 

Thanks to a new sport sweeping the nation. 

  • In the 70’s TPing a house was big
  • In the 90’s Drive by shootings were all the rage
  • Remember in the 2000’s Flash mobs?
  • Don’t forget the game of knockout!
  • Now for the 20-teenswe have “Stealing a Transit Bus” 

That’s right you can own one of these expensive monster buses for your self. 

Now I know what you are thinking… Stealing a Tri-Met bus is too hard for me. 

WRONG! 

Taking a Tri-Met bus is so easy anyone can do it because nothing changes at Tri-Met! 

So here is the completely available and open source information and products you will need to get your hand on one of these twenty ton monsters all for your self. 

What’s that your saying “No way all this information is just laying out there for free!” 

Oh my friend you don’t know the half of it, but lets not skip ahead. 

Step 1: YOUTUBE!

Difficulty Level: 0

Availability: 100%

Like so many things now days, from fixing a drain to rebuilding a carburetor the best place to start is on Youtube. This free source of information is there for the taking. Want to learn how to start a bus? almost any kind of bus? start on Youtube. There you can learn to start everything from World War 2 fighters (P-47 Thunderbolts is my fave) to Starting busses. I would include the links but that would make things too easy for you. 

What will you learn on YouTube?

  1. Turning on Battery
  2. Flipping air switch (Butterfly valve) 
  3. Turning on the starter selector
  4. Pushing the start button
  5. Taking off the hand break. 

With this basic information you will know all you need to know to do the deed. In no time you will be taking one of these great busses home with you. 

 

STEP 2: GOODWILL!

 

Difficulty Level: 1

Availability: Rare

Tri-Met Fires many drivers in a year and what do you think happens to their Uniforms? Some get thrown away but many drivers, mad at Trimet simply toss their Uniforms into the GoodWill bins or other second hand shops. 

A diligent and persistent searcher will one day strike gold and you will be knee deep in Uniform options. Once you have a Uniform you are good to go. 

Can’t find a Uniform? Don’t have the time to wait? Well there are options, try Step 2.5

 

Step 2.5: BUY IT!

5.11 is a good place to start for pants and shirts that look good enough for bus driver Uniforms. 

5.11 is a good place to start for pants and shirts that look good enough for bus driver Uniforms. 

Difficulty Level: 2

Availability: 100% 

The secret is there is nothing really special with the bottom dollar civil service blue uniforms that Trimet calls their own. You can order online clothing with almost identical fit and finish, though far better made. 

What you’ll need. 

For a guide simply Google Tri-met bus drivers and look at the Uniforms, now get out your debit card and get on the internet. Within a week you will have a passable uniform delivered to your door, Not perfect but good enough. 

Uniform Shopping List

  1. Driver top Sky Blue
  2. Dark Blue canvas docker pants. 
  3. Black leather shoes.
  4. Fleece or Rain Coat

Here is one of the easiest useful items you can purchase, a simple reflective green safety vest. Once again get on a bus with your smart phone and snap a pic of the bus driver. Now pull up your Amazon account and order that reflective vest. Cost about $10 a small price to pay for a new bus. 

The nice thing about the reflective vest is it’s unmarked! while it covers up the markings on your uniform. Other people will just see uniform blue and a reflective vest and will just assume you are a driver!

EXTRA TOUCHES: backpack, and seat cushion. With these three extra items no one is going to really focus on your uniform. 

 

STEP 3: INSECURITY ENTRANCE!

Google maps and a 5 min walk by the bus station will show you all you need to know. Where the busses and gates are. Simple really. 

Google maps and a 5 min walk by the bus station will show you all you need to know. Where the busses and gates are. Simple really. 

Difficulty Level: 3

Availability: 90%

Gaining entrance to the properties of Tri-met is very easy. Busses have to leave and at most sights cars have to enter. So getting in is simple. You can enhance your odds by going in at night. Security at Trimet is no Norad or Black Dolphin, it’s the minimum that can be afforded. 

How To:

  1. Wait and join a group that is entering and just go in with them. Maybe even mention how you are “not ready for the day.” 
  2. Another way is to slip in through the car access. Don’t worry there are no security cameras and if they had them, who would monitor them? So just wait for cars to enter and walk in. This won’t work at every location but it works enough
  3. Avoid going into structures, Going into the Garages will just increase your chance of detection. So after entering make sure no one is around and head directly for a bus. 

 

STEP 4: THE SAFER BET FOR A FREE BUS

Difficulty Level: 0

Availability: 100%

Why infiltrate! Step three above is loaded with risks and if you really want a bus, but don’t want to run any risks at all, there is a better way, an easier way, a way with almost zero risk and you won’t believe it. 

At the end of all bus lines either at transit centers or on the road buses have lay over zones. This is where the driver get’s out and hits the restrooms and stretches their legs. Guess what! The busses are left OPEN AT ALL LAYOVERS…

This is not carelessness on the operators part. No they would rather not leave the bus open because often they have backpacks and jackets left on board. Busses are left open and unattended because Tri-met demands this of them. They even publish it to customers that busses are available to them while at lay overs and transit centers. 

WHAT! I hear you say. They secure them in the bus yards but on the road at layovers buses are left open? That’s right tax payers. 

Imagine walking down the street at seeing a nearly quarter million dollar vehicle open, unattended with the keys in the ignition… See busses have no keys so anyone can start them. No codes, no ID’s. Busses run about a quarter milliondollars, How many people would leave the following quarter million dollar vehicles unlocked, open with key’s in the ignition. 

  • Audi R8 GT $162,574.00   don't see those unlocked do you
  • Ferrari 458 Italia $239,340 Nope locked up tight
  • Porsche 911 GT2 RS Don't even know how much... never see those unlocked with door open
  • Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG $221.580 hell I never seen one left on a street at all. 

Such precautions seem foolish to Trimet because they are playing with house money... by house I mean the tax payer. Damaged, vandalized or stolen doesn't matter to them because guess who paid for them? 

Also during extreme weather... the busses are left running, yup running. 

Summery

So there you have it, all the tools you need to grab one of these 40’ long monsters just for your self. Actually it’s surprising that no media has tried to infiltrate Tri-met on their own. What an undercover piece that would be. Or maybe see if they could start a bus at a lay over. 

Hey everyone out there you Roll Easy... unless you taking a bus, then roll like the wind because the cops will be right behind you.